Back in the Saddle

Daniel 12:1-3

1 "At that time Michael, the great prince, the protector of your people, shall arise. There shall be a time of anguish, such as has never occurred since nations first came into existence. But at that time your people shall be delivered, everyone who is found written in the book. 2 Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt. 3 Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.

Reflection
This morning, I am deeply sorry for leaving you hanging (that is...all three of you who sometimes glance at this blog because you're good friends).  As you can imagine, I've been very busy not having a "real" job.  Actually, I kind of have been.  I've been picking up hours at my part-time-in-between-job and also doing some pastoral stuff on the side--like preaching and praying at weddings.  Frankly, this latter part has turned me into an adult-sized, jealousy-ridden toddler.

See, I like my part-time job.  I am grateful for it.  I look forward to going to work, giving customers some good food, smiling, making a few bucks, and coming home.  I look forward to meeting people I know I'd never meet in the parish.  I look forward to working with people I won't meet on Sunday morning.  But sometimes, that novelty wears thin.  Last weekend, I had a chance to play pastor, to preach and teach.  In that experience I remembered why I went to seminary and why I went through this insane process the church has JUST to say that if a church wants me then I can be ordained.  I did all that because that's what I love.  I love meeting with people who love each other and want to live together and share God's love with their family.  I love sharing prayers and teaching creeds.  I love leading worship.  But, even more than those things, I love reading a text or a situation and finding that God's love is all over it.  I love that, ultimately, it's not about me.  I love that it's not about whether I made sure the right kind of chicken was on a dish or about whether I'm rolling silverware fast enough.  I love that, when it comes to pastoral stuff, I get to use the brains that God gave me and I get to openly testify to and witness God at work.

So, when I got to do that pastoral stuff, I realized that I am jealous.  I am jealous of every person who is doing what they have trained to do.  I am jealous of my pastor friends because of the solid place they have in the world.  I am jealous, because I know--or hope--that my name is written in that book, but I can't find the darn page!  I hear and feel a call, but I can't see it yet.  And, well, I want it now!  Enough about me, because you probably have had that feeling too.

This reading (above) from Daniel is apocalyptic.  This means that the person writing it was pretty sure that the end of the world was coming soon.  And, why wouldn't they hope for that?  In the end, God's people were to be saved from damnation and live eternally in the presence of God.  "At that time Michael, the great prince, the protector of your people, shall arise. There shall be a time of anguish, such as has never occurred since nations first came into existence. But at that time your people shall be delivered, everyone who is found written in the book. 2 Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt. 3 Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever." That's pretty awesome.  Really. Would you want to stay in a world where you were persecuted, where life sometimes really sucked, where people died--if you could hope for this end time, you would....well, I would anyway.

Put yourself into these verses.  Where do you find yourself?  In a time of anguish?  Mourning those who sleep in the dust of the earth?  Bursting at the seams with some kind of wisdom just waiting to shine like the brightness of the sky?  Well, there is good news.  Those who anguish, your people shall be delivered.  Those who mourn, your loved ones shall awake.  Those who have wisdom to share, you will share it and it will shine like the stars of the sky forever and ever.

That said, we are here, now.  The writer of this text surely thought that he and his people would see this end of times.  And, for them, it would not be just an end.  It would be the beginning of this better life with God.

Right now, I get that.  I won't lie, I am learning things in life right now, but I don't want to live this life forever.  No, I want to live in a place where I can share in everlasting life--where the greatest thing isn't that we've added pork to the menu.  It's not always easy to see that this will be over, that life will change, that things will be better than they are in the present.  It's not always easy to see that God is changing us now and in times of anguish God has delivered and is delivering us.  It's not always easy to say that God loves us, created us, and gave his Son to walk with us and carry us through those days when we feel like upset toddlers and infants.  But, those things happen.  We are delivered from anguish.  We live.  And, because we are delivered, because we live, we have hope that our names really are in this book.  We really do have a place in God's kingdom.

(I'm hoping that place doesn't involve rolling silverware.)

Prayer
God, give us strength and hope to grow out of our tendencies to want immediate gratification.  Help us to look to you so that we might be better signs of your love in the world.  Amen.