Dash to a New Reality

May 2004.  That was 10 years ago.  That is when I graduated from high school.  Wow, am I getting old, or what?  

Today, I biked to work.  This is the second time I’ve done this in two weeks.  The first time was because I “had” to bike because my 1974 Scout II was getting new suspension. Today, I didn’t have to. Today, I wanted to ride my bike. Like an 8-year-old riding around town all summer. I wanted to fly down hills and fight like the dickens to get my little legs to peddle up them. (Let’s just say my legs aren’t that much longer than those of an 8-year-old.)

I want to make the most of my dash.  Not my dash across Broadway to avoid being one of the pedestrian hit-and-runs that are disgustingly common in the Denver-metro area, but the dash that goes between 1986 (the year I was born) and some other year hopefully decades down the road.  That dash between birth and death.   See, when I graduated from high school one of my band directors gave me a copy from a book about making the most of your dash.

In the past 10 years, I’ve remembered that photocopy.  I can’t remember the exact words or the author’s name or the book title—even though I can picture the citation across the top of the first page.[1]  I’ve remembered it when I was tired of studying for college finals. I’ve remembered it when I was pretty sure I’d never finish my master of divinity thesis. I’ve remembered it as I’ve waited for interviews and call-backs. I’ve remembered it as I’ve sat at the bedside of dying parishioners.

I’ve remembered it a lot in the past five weeks (in which I’ve presided at four memorial/burials).  I’ve learned a lot about other people’s dashes.  Steven’s dash was filled with music and living as an uncle.  Loretta’s dash was filled with joy.  Lilo’s dash was filled with compassion children.  Richard’s dash was filled with support for his friends.  Some of these dashes filled more time and space than others but each dash made a profound impact on the world.

In the same time that I was busy learning about these dashes and burying the people who filled them, I became very aware of my own dash.  I’d neglected for some time (maybe a few years) to take care of some medical issues.  I didn’t want to waste time at the doctor’s office and I didn’t want people to think I was a sick kid. (FYI: Don’t do that. That’s not making the most of your dash.) 

It turns out though, I was a sick kid (not too sick though).  It took a couple of weeks, a few tests, and a cheap, low-dose, daily prescription to make my ticker tick like it should. As I biked today, I realized that I wasted part of my dash.  For the first time in years I wasn’t dizzy or having palpitations while exercising. How much more could I have done these past few years if I’d been on this medication sooner? Would I have hiked longer and higher? Would I have run faster and biked farther? Would I have had more energy to work youth lock-ins and campouts and service trips? Probably.

Dietrich Bonhoeffer (if you don’t know him, Google his name, don’t waste your dash not knowing his story) wrote, “Time is the most valuable thing we have, because it is the most irrevocable. The thought of any lost time troubles us whenever we look back. Time lost is time in which we have failed to live a full human life, gain experience, learn, create, enjoy, and suffer. It is time that has not been filled up, but left empty.”

Today, my dash has new life. It's more full (it wasn't empty before, just not as full as it could have been). Today, I rode my bike. I saved a gallon of gas. My heart is happier and healthier. I felt the wind as I rushed downhill and I broke a sweat as I rode uphill again. In a few hours I’ll plan worship for the coming weeks, I’ll sit at the bedside of our only charter members. And, I will have worked for myself and for the world. I will have accomplished something—if only 6 miles.  Those 6 will be 12 by the end of the day and those 12 will mark a beautiful day in my dash. Thanks be to God (and my ol’ band director) for that. 

Make the most of your dash.  Don’t just do something. Do something to make the world a better place. Do something that pushes you and the world beyond potential and into a new reality.

---

[1] I think the info on the original text is this: Aronson, E. (2004). Dash. : Synergy Books.

The Faces Around This Table

Every week before text study a different local pastor leads discussion over a book, a spiritual practice, an idea he/she has for ministry--pretty much whatever he/she wants to talk about.  A couple of weeks ago a well-established and highly-respected pastor shared with us his new-found practice of poetry.  It was really neat to hear his poetry which ranged from deep, theological thoughts to playful, loving illustrations of his grandchildren.  At the end of the hour he gave us each a paper with a "starter" on it.  We were instructed to write (a list, poem, or prose), draw a picture, or just ponder the starter: When I look at the faces around this table...  I thought about the discussions there, the ministry, the passion, the pain, and the variety of called Children of God who surrounded me.  They reminded me of myself, of friends from long ago, of people in my congregation. They reminded me that people are each pastors, prophets, and preachers at different times and different places.  And this is where the spirit guided me:

When I look at the faces around this table ,

there are faces of pastors, of hearts willing and able

to share a kind word with a mourning soul,

to listen for God’s Word for a world made whole.

When I look at the faces around this table,

                there are faces of prophets, of hearts willing and able

to think and to wonder about a great vision,

to work and to pray for God’s people and mission.

When I look at the faces around this table,

                there are faces of preachers, of hearts willing and able

to speak from a pulpit to people in pews

to go forth and to share that there is good news.

When I look at the faces around this table,

                there are faces of people willing and able

to be called children of God, to call others, too

to be for the world people true,

                who laugh, cry, cuss, and repent,

                pray, teach, learn, and are sent.

Written during Metro South Conference Meeting on 4/10/14.

Things Change

The title of this blog is all too familiar.  In the past two and a half months, I've been ordained and installed in a congregation.  This congregation is a beautiful group of individuals who come together to worship.  Over the past few years, this congregation has seen many changes ranging from the illness and death of a beloved pastor of over 25 years, declining numbers of butts in the pew (because of ELCA decisions, local decisions), kids growing up and leaving the nest, deaths of beloved brothers and sisters in Christ, and now a new, young female pastor.

This also means that my life has changed, drastically.  I went from working part-time jobs which sucked the life out of me, to working with a group of people who I want to work with for a cause I want to work for.

That's a change.  I'm not just working for a paycheck.  I'm working to help people live into their baptismal calling.  I'm working to help people see that God still loves them, God still calls them, and God is still with them.

Some days, that's a rough gig.  Every person has doubts--in him/herself, in the pastor, in the congregation, in the world, and in God.  Every person is broken--in mind, body, spirit.  Every person requires grace and deserves love.  That's the stuff that never changes.  That's the constant in an ever-uncertain world.  People are in need.

Past, Present, and Future

Revelation 1:4b-8

4 John to the seven churches that are in Asia: Grace to you and peace from him who is and who was and who is to come, and from the seven spirits who are before his throne, 5 and from Jesus Christ, the faithful witness, the firstborn of the dead, and the ruler of the kings of the earth. To him who loves us and freed us from our sins by his blood, 6 and made us to be a kingdom, priests serving his God and Father, to him be glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen. 7 Look! He is coming with the clouds; every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and on his account all the tribes of the earth will wail. So it is to be. Amen. 8 "I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.

Reflection

"I am the Alpha and the Omega," says the Lord God, who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.  Those are pretty strong words.  Maybe it's strong because you've heard it so many times.  Maybe it's strong because of who is supposedly saying it.  Maybe it's strong because of the sheer thought of some being who is eternal.  Maybe it's strong because, somehow, you believe it. 

This passage gives the reader lots to imagine: seven spirits, freedom from sins by blood, a kingdom and priests, glory, clouds, sight, wailing.  With all that excitement, the bearer of these words begins with a greeting of something stronger than any of that: grace and peace.  And, not just the kind of "grace" we say at the dinner table or the "peace" we claim outside of wartime.  No, this is grace and peace from God who is and who was and who is to come.  This is grace and peace from the seven spirits (the number seven represents wholeness...one could go on forever about the number seven and the seven spirits and what it could mean).  But, what I find most profound today is: This is grace and peace from Jesus Christ who is not only raised from the dead, but plays a major role in the current world--the ruler of the kings of the earth.  

God isn't only eternal.  If we think about God as trinitarian--that is the Father, Son, and Spirit, then God is more than eternal.  God is other-worldly and very much here, ruler of heaven and ruler of the kings of the earth.  God's grace and peace is so much more than a promise for the future, it's for here and now.  John uses this greeting, not like some mindless phrase, but like something awesome and real.

I know, you're probably thinking that things don't seem graceful and peaceful (well, I thought about that).  And, if you thought that, you're probably right.  We live in a world where--even when we want to be perfect mini-Christ's doing good for all humankind--we mess up.  We live in a world where when we want peace, our lives are upturned by joblessness, by disasters, by deaths, and by so much more.  Even-so, we live in a world where we get glimpses of this peace and grace.  

A glimpse of grace: A couple of weeks ago, I was rolling silverware at my restaurant job.  I saw a guy with one leg, scraggly hair, and a big bag, rolling uphill to our door.  I opened the door and he rolled up to the counter and asked for the manager.  As I went on to my work, I heard him ask the manager if she could give him any food.  Her answer was, "I'm sorry, my budget for meals is gone for the month."  A woman who was waiting with her toddler for a to-go order, witnessed the situation and offered to pay for the man's meal.  As she reached for her wallet, my manager said, "Wait, you know what, you can have my meal for today."  She called me to the register, I rang up the man's meal and gave him a fountain pop.  And, I witnessed God's grace pass from a customer, to the heart of my manager, and to the hungry, one-legged, scraggly old man.

A glimpse of peace: Today, I woke up feverish and with a massive sinus headache.  My alarm went off three times--which irritates the heck out of my husband.  But, my husband tucked me back into bed after giving me some ibuprofen and he even put an extra blanket on the bed so our 80 pound mutt, Loo, could curl up next to me to keep me warm.  He went to play guitar for worship and I went back to sleep.  When I awoke a couple hours later, there was a very quiet dog laying on the pillow next to me, looking right at my face.  I got up and took the dog out.  Down the way, I saw a HUGE malamute.  Knowing that Loo is usually only feisty and protective when my husband is gone, I was a little worried.  So, we stood back a bit off the sidewalk as the other dog approached and passed.  Loo didn't raise a hair.  In fact, he and the other dog just wagged their tails as they watched each other.  The other dog walker stopped and inquired about Loo, all the while the animals were quite at peace with one another.  Now, it wasn't a peace between nations or between political parties in one nation.  But, there was peace in my husbands understanding and care, and there was peace between two enormous dogs.

Sometimes, it's hard to see that the eternal God of grace and peace does rule on this earth.  But, I have hope that we will see grace and peace, Look! He is coming with the clouds; every eye will see him, even those who pierced him; and on his account all the tribes of the earth will wail. So it is to be. Amen.  Look! (You might just believe it!)

Back in the Saddle

Daniel 12:1-3

1 "At that time Michael, the great prince, the protector of your people, shall arise. There shall be a time of anguish, such as has never occurred since nations first came into existence. But at that time your people shall be delivered, everyone who is found written in the book. 2 Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt. 3 Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever.

Reflection
This morning, I am deeply sorry for leaving you hanging (that is...all three of you who sometimes glance at this blog because you're good friends).  As you can imagine, I've been very busy not having a "real" job.  Actually, I kind of have been.  I've been picking up hours at my part-time-in-between-job and also doing some pastoral stuff on the side--like preaching and praying at weddings.  Frankly, this latter part has turned me into an adult-sized, jealousy-ridden toddler.

See, I like my part-time job.  I am grateful for it.  I look forward to going to work, giving customers some good food, smiling, making a few bucks, and coming home.  I look forward to meeting people I know I'd never meet in the parish.  I look forward to working with people I won't meet on Sunday morning.  But sometimes, that novelty wears thin.  Last weekend, I had a chance to play pastor, to preach and teach.  In that experience I remembered why I went to seminary and why I went through this insane process the church has JUST to say that if a church wants me then I can be ordained.  I did all that because that's what I love.  I love meeting with people who love each other and want to live together and share God's love with their family.  I love sharing prayers and teaching creeds.  I love leading worship.  But, even more than those things, I love reading a text or a situation and finding that God's love is all over it.  I love that, ultimately, it's not about me.  I love that it's not about whether I made sure the right kind of chicken was on a dish or about whether I'm rolling silverware fast enough.  I love that, when it comes to pastoral stuff, I get to use the brains that God gave me and I get to openly testify to and witness God at work.

So, when I got to do that pastoral stuff, I realized that I am jealous.  I am jealous of every person who is doing what they have trained to do.  I am jealous of my pastor friends because of the solid place they have in the world.  I am jealous, because I know--or hope--that my name is written in that book, but I can't find the darn page!  I hear and feel a call, but I can't see it yet.  And, well, I want it now!  Enough about me, because you probably have had that feeling too.

This reading (above) from Daniel is apocalyptic.  This means that the person writing it was pretty sure that the end of the world was coming soon.  And, why wouldn't they hope for that?  In the end, God's people were to be saved from damnation and live eternally in the presence of God.  "At that time Michael, the great prince, the protector of your people, shall arise. There shall be a time of anguish, such as has never occurred since nations first came into existence. But at that time your people shall be delivered, everyone who is found written in the book. 2 Many of those who sleep in the dust of the earth shall awake, some to everlasting life, and some to shame and everlasting contempt. 3 Those who are wise shall shine like the brightness of the sky, and those who lead many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever." That's pretty awesome.  Really. Would you want to stay in a world where you were persecuted, where life sometimes really sucked, where people died--if you could hope for this end time, you would....well, I would anyway.

Put yourself into these verses.  Where do you find yourself?  In a time of anguish?  Mourning those who sleep in the dust of the earth?  Bursting at the seams with some kind of wisdom just waiting to shine like the brightness of the sky?  Well, there is good news.  Those who anguish, your people shall be delivered.  Those who mourn, your loved ones shall awake.  Those who have wisdom to share, you will share it and it will shine like the stars of the sky forever and ever.

That said, we are here, now.  The writer of this text surely thought that he and his people would see this end of times.  And, for them, it would not be just an end.  It would be the beginning of this better life with God.

Right now, I get that.  I won't lie, I am learning things in life right now, but I don't want to live this life forever.  No, I want to live in a place where I can share in everlasting life--where the greatest thing isn't that we've added pork to the menu.  It's not always easy to see that this will be over, that life will change, that things will be better than they are in the present.  It's not always easy to see that God is changing us now and in times of anguish God has delivered and is delivering us.  It's not always easy to say that God loves us, created us, and gave his Son to walk with us and carry us through those days when we feel like upset toddlers and infants.  But, those things happen.  We are delivered from anguish.  We live.  And, because we are delivered, because we live, we have hope that our names really are in this book.  We really do have a place in God's kingdom.

(I'm hoping that place doesn't involve rolling silverware.)

Prayer
God, give us strength and hope to grow out of our tendencies to want immediate gratification.  Help us to look to you so that we might be better signs of your love in the world.  Amen.

Lament!

Jeremiah 11:18-20
18 It was the LORD who made it known to me, and I knew; then you showed me their evil deeds.  19 But I was like a gentle lamb led to the slaughter. And I did not know it was against me that they devised schemes, saying, "Let us destroy the tree with its fruit, let us cut him off from the land of the living, so that his name will no longer be remembered!"  20 But you, O LORD of hosts, who judge righteously, who try the heart and the mind, let me see your retribution upon them, for to you I have committed my cause.

Reflection

This text, the first reading for this coming Sunday, is what we call a lament.  If you've never heard of a lament...check out the Psalms, check out the rest of Jeremiah.  Or, read some poetry.  Listen to those sad songs about heartbreak--Why'd my girlfriend leave?  My dog died.  My truck's broke--you probably know what I'm talking about by now.

This lament comes from Jeremiah, a prophet who was not always happy with what God called him to.  This is one of a collection of laments from the prophet.  Jeremiah's lament has some grounding.  He was bringing the word of the Lord to these folks who were really doing evil deeds!  They schemed against him.  They call him the tree and say that they will cut him off--that's a threat to his life!  Here's a person just doing what he's supposed to do--what the Lord is calling him to--and he's getting the shaft.  If there is ever a time to lament, to cry out about a situation in life, this is it.

But, the lament doesn't stop with Jeremiah whining.  No, Jeremiah also holds strong to his call.  He calls upon the Lord to judge righteously, he asks to see the Lord's retribution, he asserts that he is committed to the Lord.  In all the woe and fear, Jeremiah remembers that the power, the authority, to judge these people belongs to God.

Today, rather than share a prayer with you, I call you to lament.  Maybe your lament is like mine--I'm waiting for a call, I'm missing my family, I'm working, I'm trying to serve God's world, but the right time and place haven't coincided for me to do that in the ways I'm gifted, trained, and called. My life isn't threatened like Jeremiah's, but I'd certainly prefer working in a congregation right now rather than in a restaurant.  Maybe your lament is over the 2012 U.S. presidential election and the uncalled for hatred that our party system fosters.  Maybe your lament is over the Lonmin/Marikana Massacre.  Maybe your lament is over the loss of a parent or child or other loved one.   Whatever it is, lament!  But, as you lament, remember:  Judgement and retribution belong to the Lord--the same Lord who created you, who loves you, who calls you, who gives you life everlasting.

Who do you say that I am?

Mark 8:27-38
27 Jesus went on with his disciples to the villages of Caesarea Philippi; and on the way he asked his disciples, "Who do people say that I am?"  28 And they answered him, "John the Baptist; and others, Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets."  29 He asked them, "But who do you say that I am?" Peter answered him, "You are the Messiah."  30 And he sternly ordered them not to tell anyone about him.  31 Then he began to teach them that the Son of Man must undergo great suffering, and be rejected by the elders, the chief priests, and the scribes, and be killed, and after three days rise again.  32 He said all this quite openly. And Peter took him aside and began to rebuke him.  33 But turning and looking at his disciples, he rebuked Peter and said, "Get behind me, Satan! For you are setting your mind not on divine things but on human things."  34 He called the crowd with his disciples, and said to them, "If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  35 For those who want to save their life will lose it, and those who lose their life for my sake, and for the sake of the gospel, will save it.  36 For what will it profit them to gain the whole world and forfeit their life?  37 Indeed, what can they give in return for their life?  38 Those who are ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation, of them the Son of Man will also be ashamed when he comes in the glory of his Father with the holy angels."

Reflection
Who do people say that I am? Our answer to this probably wouldn't be too different from that of Jesus' disciples back in the day.  Sure, we might say, "Our Muslim neighbors call you a prophet, our atheist neighbors call you a character in a story," etc.  We might even answer Jesus' second question, Who do you say that I am? in Peter's words saying, "You are the Messiah."
But, Messiah has a drastically different connotation for 21st century disciples than it did for those first disciples of Jesus.  For us, Messiah is Jesus.  For us, who have four gospels and a slew of other material regarding the life of Jesus, we know this Jesus to the one who suffered, was rejected, killed, and risen.  We know that his Messiah-ship wasn't about to appeal to those folks who wanted to save themselves, who thought they could right their own sins against God and neighbor.  Peter's perspective must have been different than ours.  He clearly didn't know that Jesus would suffer because Jesus has to tell him what's coming.  He clearly didn't know that he couldn't save his own life, Jesus has to tell him.

We are lucky to have a perspective different than Jesus' first disciples.

We come at this world, knowing that Jesus has suffered for us.  Then again, we also come at it being told, If any want to become my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. This is a big cost of discipleship... This is something Peter probably understood better than we do.  The cross was a real instrument of suffering and death for these people. It was gruesome (if you can't picture it, watch the last bit of Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, I can't imagine the cross was more glorious than that).  The cross was a real threat for the disciples if they followed Jesus as he overturned the rulers' concept of a Messiah.  Our "crosses" are different.

Some people might think we're weird for praying.  Some people might call us (or at least think we are) weak for laying our burdens down for God to pick up.  These are kind of general things which I've heard Christians (of varied denominations) claim as crosses in today's world.

What's harder (for me) than those things, though, is getting past this re-emerging notion that Christianity is about prosperity.  This notion that it is about glitz and glam.

Because I'm working a part-time-job (finally, yay!), I still get to catch some morning TV.  The channels that the antennae (yep, those exist in flat-screens) could get in yesterday were a Christian channel and a Spanish channel.  I opted for the Christian one, so I could understand it.  Boy, that was a mistake.  Between programs which had some shoddy theology (by that, I mean programs in which I was told that in order to be loved by God I had to do something...that's wrong), there was an offer.  I could go on a trip to the Holy Land--for under $4,000!  This trip included spas, special meals, seeing beautiful landmarks... It actually did look quite lovely.  But, after the commercial was over, I realized that there was no mention of visiting actual historic places.  There was no mention of deepening faith through remembering and learning of the sufferings and trials of the people who inhabited and have been driven out of this land.  NO! All the deepening of faith offered in this trip came from spas.  Is the message of Jesus the Christ, the Messiah, a message of vacation for the prosperous?  This, friends, is what we are up against: people who crucify the gospel again and again for prosperity's sake.  People who save their own lives of comfort, glazing over the reality of the world which the Messiah came to endure and bring to new life.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm sure we--you and, definitely, I--do a bit of our own which glazes over what's going on in the rest of God's Kingdom--You know, the world in it's entirety.  The world where people take advantage of one another (often unknowingly), where people try to save themselves.  Today, we are reminded by Mark's gospel that we are called out of that, to pick up the crosses (to pick up all the crap, hate, death, fears, etc. that exists) and follow Christ.  And, what does that mean, to follow Jesus?  I think it means to call each other out--like Jesus did to Peter  It means that when our brothers and sisters start to get a little too materialistic, we call them out.  Likewise, it means being called out--in last week's gospel message, a woman whose daughter had a demon called Jesus out when he said he was going to feed the kids before he healed her...the woman told him that even the dogs get the children's scraps.  Jesus changed his mind and told the woman to go because the demon had been cast out.  Jesus, the Messiah, took seriously what other people said.  He listened!  So, we should listen.  Taking up the cross doesn't mean that we are always the most persecuted, the most suffering, but it means that we recognize every gruesome part of life--we listen to people around us.  We recognize that we contribute to the gruesomeness of the world.  We recognize that because Christ gave his life for us, we are freed to give ourselves, our time, and our possessions for the sake of the gospel--for the sake of sharing in God's love.

Pay attention this week. In all your burdens and blessings, Who do you say that Jesus is?



My Prayer for Today
Suffering, mind-changing, faithful God, I give thanks for the freedom you give us to live in your world.  Help me to see that my suffering is not the only suffering.  Help me to look upon my neighbors--of wealth and of poverty--with grace.  Help me to remember that this grace is not cheap, that discipleship is costly.



Note: Vacations are good, I recommend them.  They can help you rejuvenate so that you can live more fully in God's world. However, take care not to miss out on what is going on in the world.  Don't vacation with ignorance of and disregard for where you're vacationing.  Learn there.  Take in more than a week of spas.  God's people are everywhere.